Saturday, May 16, 2009
final thoughts before I deliver
Shane summed this pregnancy up for me last week when he said, "It still hasn't hit me yet that we are pregnant. It is so unreal." It's gone by so fast. One minute we learn i'm pregnant and the next it's d-day?? Where did the time go!
Where I live the hospitals will not allow me to VBAC(vaginal birth after cesarean), even though I've already had two. Sad huh? But it is legal to birth at home with a midwife. That's okay because birth is a normal life event. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but in the comfort and privacy of my own home with those I love around me.
I know that I am not the most suitable candidate for homebirth. I am physically what my grandma calls "a delicate flower," and she is right! However, the Lord knows my strengths and weaknesses and will help me in all ways if I pray and exercise faith.
Today it is all hitting me that soon I will walk through that painful valley...but I am still at peace and know that whatever happens is the Lord's will and he will get me through it. It is through my weakness and infirmities that I have learned of Him and seen his mighty arm work miracles in my behalf. My birth experiences has helped me come to understand and know personally, that the power to do anything comes only by His grace.
It's so easy to forget that this life is a test. It is human nature to constantly seek for comfort & stability. But we can lose out on so many blessings when we do this.
I pray that the Lord will comfort and sustain me through the birth.
at 5:57 AM